Forgotten Heartsongs, Journey And Hope

Remember "To play after every storm" - was the late Stepanek's philosophy and so was mine.I either didn't play enough or playtime had to be shared because, life's like that.I need to find the perfect balance.Decision making was somewhat emotional rather than logical thinking and heartsongs combined. All that is about to change but what do i do? Put my boots on and rock the handbag? Why can't it be like last time? My only concern was the day Beckham's euphemism hang loose. (that's penis for you) Really,i was looking forward to that.

I am not content with all life have for me that I'm not living for the moment. For one thing i've understood in the past months, faults are acts of negligence.It makes us more aware or on guard so as not to repeat any mistake,that's when things gets compulsive.It causes constant constrain of irrational thoughts. It is crippling.

I've lost the love i nurtured, the future i mould and the person i shaped myself to be and a bestfriend. Let's not talk about my non-existance social circle.Not that i don't appreciate the life I'm leading now but,why must i forgo one thing for another? I'm contemplating... because when I fall in love,it will be forever.And so is this disease. It just won't go away.

Old me fyt.


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